Nancy, David and I spent a couple weeks in the UK in August. Minnesota style summer weather came with us. That meant it was hot and humid. We arrived in London the same day thermometers recorded the highest temperature ever seen in the UK. A clerk at the American Express office in Oban, Scotland first suggested that if "the fine weather" was following us around, we might make a fortune as tour leaders. Then he shook his head and said, we might also get paid off by travel agents in places like Oban to stay away. "If we had weather like this too often, how may trips to Spain could I sell?"

At Nancy's urging all three of us did some reading by British authors while in the UK. Here's David Ashmore's summer book report:

"I recently returned from England. It was a two-week stay and in that time I read quite a few books. For instance: the newest Harry Potter book, two mammoth books of science fiction, six "Horrible Histories", Holes, The Wind Singer, a book of Scottish jokes ("Golf ‚ the sport in which you shout 'Fore!', shoot five and write three."), and a fair bit of Terry Pratchett's The Discworld Companion. However, I'm going to be focusing on just a few of these. "First, the "Horrible Histories." I'd have to recommend these books to anyone visiting the U.K. who doesn't know a lot about its history. You can read about the truth behind Guy Fawkes Day and why Shakespeare couldn't have written Shakespeare's plays. Learn all the nasty habits of the Stuarts, Celts, Tudors and Victorians. These books, aside from having interesting facts like how a king plotted his own death only to stop it just in time (Guy Fawkes), give a good sense of the timeline. I found them immensely interesting, and I think you will too. "Next, the Scottish Jokes. Alright, it isn't much of a book, but it's funny. Always get one if you can. I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE ONE ALREADY!!!!! Buy another!!!!! "You may be wondering why I continually use five exclamation points in places where only one would suffice. I'll get to that later. In the mean time, The Wind Singer by William Nicholson. This is a children's book. However, I didn't know this, so I read it anyway. It is a good book for all you rebels out there. It is set in a town where everything is based on tests. Where you live, where you work, what clothes you wear, and how prestigious you are. This may sound like today, but I think of it more like 1984 by George Orwell. These tests start at age two. They continue for the rest of your life. Not good at taking tests? TOO BAD!!!!! You'll be sent to a remedial class where they tell you that stress is good for you. If you still do badly, your family will suffer. One girl, having climbed up onto the Wind Singer, an ancient sculpture, finds out that it amplifies her voice. As she is fairly angry at this point, she yells some rather rabble rousing things at the top of her voice. This is heavily frowned upon, and she is exiled (sort ofä). She heads out to find the voice of the Wind Singer, which was lost long ago. "Now, on to the exclamation points. This comes from the Terry Pratchett book, Maskerade. Someone is causing trouble at the Opera House. You would probably recognize him. Black opera hat, black opera cape, white half mask, the works. What? Phantom of the opera? What's that? "Yes, this seems to be a blatant rip off. But everything changes when a fat girl who can sing in harmony with herself joins the opera. It turns out there are two phantoms, one causing accidents and one doing the normal things phantoms do (haunting, playing organs, signing pleasant notes, etc.). Oh, the former writes notes as well, often using !!!!!. Which, it seems, is a sure sign of madness. Not the normal madness of crazy people, but the true madness where you could sandblast said mad person for hours and you still would be stupid to turn your back on them. So, I've mixed a few other lines in there, too, but I feel that all of Pratchett's books are good (except maybe Terra or Carpet People (admittedly, his first book)). If you want to get into the series, try The Color of Magic and The Light Fantastic."

Thank you David for your contribution. If I can ease my way into the Discworld universie, I am tempted to take a tour. I have, however, heard enough Scottish jokes.